Leading Lady

The Way it Was

by Barbara 13-B-7 FPE

I really haven't the faintest idea of what ever caused me to become a TV. It must have happened pretty early in my life, though, because I can distinctly recall having had the desire to dress as a girl as early as the age of four. My playmates at that time included a pretty little girl whose dark brown hair fell clear down to her shoulders in soft, beautiful curls. One night I dreamed that I awoke the next morning to find myself a little girl too, with dresses and hair just like hers. When I did wake up, I was both disappointed and relieved. Relieved, because I can also recall feeling vaguely guilty about having such a “sissy" dream. But the stirrings were obviously there.

I don't remember doing anything about them, however, until I was six, when I came down with a serious illness which kept me home in bed for several long weeks of recuperation. Mother certainly must have had her hands full keeping me occupied. In any event, I remember seeing a skirt of hers on a chair one morning and asking her outright if I might wear some of her clothes. She didn't seem particularly shocked, but was mildly surprised. She questioned me briefly to make sure I was serious and then, to my surprise, presented me with that very skirt and one of her blouses, telling me I could keep them if I wished. She also gave me one of her bandanas to tie over my head to cover my short hair.

Never before in my life had I experienced anything to compare with the thrill I felt when dressed in these things. During the brief moments I was allowed up, my delight in

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